I have really avoided writing this blog because it feels like I'm committing to it when I actually blog about it, like I am accepting things, and I just wasn't fully ready to accept things yet. I can't put it off anymore, so here goes.
I went to the miracle doctor a couple weeks ago to "discuss alternatives". The treatment I was on wasn't producing the kinds of results he wanted (and I wanted too), so we had to look at the alternatives. Without revealing too much about my condition or treatment plans on here (I'm a little weary of such things, as you might have noticed in other blogs), I can say that my body is apparently very stubborn. Anyway, the alternative treatments are not covered by my health insurance, which is already too expensive in my opinion. There are two main alternative treatments, the cheaper of which would cost me a few thousand dollars every month (on top of insurance), and the other treatment would be a surgical procedure that would cost me many thousands more.
Given our current circumstances, we have decided to stick with a reduced treatment from what I was already on. We are basically falling back from the front lines to reload. We aren't giving up, but we are taking some time to better prepare ourselves for what lies ahead. God will do what only He can do, and we will do what we can.
We are essentially giving ourselves a break because we have realized that we have done everything we possibly could with what God has given us so far. We poured our hearts out, and now we just need to regroup for a while. We aren't giving up at all, but we are letting God take the lead while we focus on other areas.
Once we got past the initial upset and depression (which are still present, of course, but subdued a bit), we felt relieved that we did everything possible. Now we feel almost like we have a bit more freedom. We can take care of some other things in the meantime, until God brings everything together.
Thank you, my friends, for your support and encouragement through all of this!
Love,
Ashley
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